There's Always Hope!

Bob Hope, that is.  One of the most beloved funny men of the 20th century died twenty-two years ago today at the age of 100. Born in the United Kingdom, he passed away in Los Angeles on July 27, 2003. He was an existential presence the world over: showman, entertainer, vaudevillian, actor, radio and tv star, producer, singer, overseas' USO wartime troop tours' front man, and friend to numerous presidents, despite their political party. He acted in over 70 short and feature films, starring in 54, and Hope hosted the Academy Awards nineteen times, a record. For 80 years he did it all, beginning as a boy on the vaudevillian stage in the 1920's. 

A mostly forgotten film, a western, and certainly less famous than his triumphant  "Road To..." movies with Bing Crosby (are you old enough to remember those?) was Alias Jesse James, a favorite of mine, from 1959. The movie was brought to us by Hope Enterprises and distributed by United Artists.

Hope was not reluctant to appear in films, on stage and tv in his underwear. None more entertaining than "Alias." In this movie, Hope played Milford Farnsworth, an insurance agent.

Milford travelled west after selling an insurance policy to none other than Jesse James. He had to ensure that Jesse survived his dangerous life style so that Milford's company did not have to pay off per the insurance policy.

Having visited a bar and submitting to a stiff drink that nearly did him in, Milford took the first chair to which he staggered. It happened to be at a poker table. 

Gathering himself, he realized he had joined serious card players. They required an additional player and would not take no for an answer when he told them he had no money for which to play.

When he stood and attempted to leave, Milford was force to sit down, the players insisting he did have assets to join the game. He was roughly relieved of his bowler hat and jacket: 

He now had the ante to begin the game.The player to his left, told him to "deal." What choice did this eastern dandy have?!

 So, he delt. 

"How many cards do ya need, partner?"

It soon dawned on Milford, 

he was playing with a cheat! 

And, by the way wondered Millford, what was this goat doing in a place like this?

And wouldn't you know, the new man lost that first game and more to come. He was made to pay up..."I'll just take that tie of yours, mister."  

"And, your shirt should just about make us even, tenderfoot!" 

After the next round of cards, Millford protested: "I won fair and square. I'll just take my earnings, if you don't mind."

 

Well, they did mind. Exclaiming he lost, Milford was forced to give up his trousers to the ever increasing pot. He had to sit there and continue playing in only his long red-flannel underwear!

 There was no doubt that Milford won the next hand... 

...and so he reached for his winnings. He was determined to get back his ill-gotten clothes before he had to exit the saloon in his union suit. But that's not how the game was played by these card sharks. He better be careful, or he'd next lose his long underwear and be turned away wearing only an apple barrel!

 

 "Show me your cards!" Millford was demanded. What's this?

Good heavens! That pesky goat chewed up the cards, ruining the hand Millford was holding! Was that animal a plant to make sure Milford could not prove he'd won?! 

"You're not winning with those cards, Mac!"   

 

"Alright you card cheats!  I've had enough!"  Milford then grabbed a gun and rose from the table in his bright red, monogrammed union suit! 

 "I'll just take my hat and clothes and bid you gentlemen fairwell." 

 

"Here, hold this gun while I gather up my things." 

Oops, that was a beginner's big mistake!

What happens next may surprise you if you haven't seen this film. 

Will Millford be able to walk out without getting his underwear plugged full of holes? Or, does he meet his doom? Will he survive and live to play cards another day? If he survives, will he have to chase down Jesse in just his long johns?

To find these answers and more, you'll simple have to watch the film in it's entirety on a variety of streaming services, or you could wait for my next week's posting on Union Suit Fan to find out!  A hearty thank you to Hope Enterprises and United Artists.